I Guess You Get Used To Somebody
by burtneymac95
Summary: "I'm sorry for hitting you & for blowing up on you. I'm sorry for saying I didn't know why I keep you around. I was pissed off and I didn't mean any of it. I'm sorry." Castle & Beckett are on a stake out. What happens when tragedy strikes? Pure Caskett.
1. Chapter 1

**_Well hello there Castle fans! Welcome to my story! I am a new Castle writer. I usually write for Bones. But after watching and becoming so addicted to Castle and Beckett, I decided to start my own story! So yeah, enjoy the story! And always remember to review! Thanks :)_**

**_Disclaimer: Do I even have to do this? I don't own or profit from Castle or any of its characters._**

**_Summary: "I'm sorry for hitting you, and I'm sorry for blowing up on you. I'm sorry for saying I didn't know why I keep you around. I was pissed off and I didn't mean any of it. So…I'm sorry." Castle and Beckett are on a stake out. They finally talk about what happened between them earlier that day. What will happen? Will they pull together, or be split apart?_**

Chapter 1

The stake out was long, quiet, and boring. Detective Kate Beckett and Richard Castle sat in the N.Y.P.D squad car outside of the suspects building. Beckett had her hands gripped tightly onto the steering wheel, and Castle was pretending to be doing something on his phone. Neither one spoke. Neither one had the courage to. They had gotten into a fight earlier that morning, an epic one in fact.

Beckett had gotten into an argument with Josh. She had been upset and wasn't in the mood for anyone's games. Of course, Castle kept bugging her and trying to get her to fess up to what was wrong, which made her snap. Some hurtful words were said, Castle got a slap to the face, and neither had spoken to each other since.

Beckett had been talking to Lanie in the morgue, when Captain Montgomery called her and told her to meet him in his office. Once she arrived, she noticed that Castle was there as well.

"Beckett, Castle, we got a job for you." he said as Beckett sat down beside Castle and listened. "We just got word that our suspect, John Gallagher, is planning on fleeing the country. We have a list of all 4 of his addresses, and we're sending two people to each one."

"A stakeout?" Castle had asked.

Montgomery had nodded. "Now I don't know what went down between you two earlier, but you better put it aside while staking Gallagher out. We don't want him getting away because you two were too busy fighting. Understand?"

Castle nodded, while Beckett didn't say anything.

"Do you understand, Detective Beckett?" he said more firmly, with more authority.

"Yes sir." she had said a little louder than anticipated.

"Okay. Good luck people. Let's get the son of a bitch."

* * *

Beckett hated the fact that they had to go on a stake out. She was hoping that Castle wouldn't want to and that he didn't want to be around her, but instead, he eagerly obliged. Even if it meant 4 long hours of silence, Castle was still excited about his first stake out.

Now, Beckett sat, replaying their fight over and over again in her mind.

ooo

"_Beckett, Kate, what's wrong? Just spill the beans already." Castle had said, for what seemed like the hundredth time of getting her to speak._

_"Castle! Leave me the hell alone! If I want to talk, I will. Damn. Sometimes I wonder why I keep you around." she said, without realizing the pain that shot through his chest._

_Castle stood up. "Fine, Detective Beckett. If you want to be a grouchy, introverted and cold fish, then fine. I will relieve you of your pain."_

_"An introverted, cold fish?" she exclaimed, standing up as well. "Maybe if you weren't so god damn annoying, I would actually tell you. Maybe if I wouldn't have to see the look on your face once I told you, that look of sadness and pity, then maybe I would."_

_"Well what do you expect me to do? Laugh at you? Not say anything? Not care? Because if you don't want me to, then fine. I won't. But if you continue to keep everything bottled up, you're going to be alone and miserable for the rest of your life."_

_It took Beckett's breath away. A shot of pain went straight to her heart. She didn't no how to respond, so she struck him in the face. She walked away and left him with a red face and an ache in his chest._

ooo

Everytime she thought about it, a tear came to her eye. It was so irrational, the words they spoke, the action she resorted to. She didn't know why it had led to that. It seemed so out of character, for both of them. But she had so much anger and annoyance built up in her body, that she had to release it and sadly, she released it on Castle. Castle, her friend, her partner, the man she loved? All he did was try to help her, try to get her to speak so he could comfort her in any way necessary like he always does, but she refused him. She didn't want his pity, she didn't want him to feel sorry for her, she just wanted everything to work out on its own. But everything only ended up worse.

Now she wasn't talking to Josh or Castle. She hated sitting there in silence, not hearing Castle ramble on and on about random things and about their latest case. She just wanted to hear his voice, his laugh. She just wanted him.

"Castle." she finally spoke.

She didn't know how or why she said it, but she did. Instantly, his eyes were on hers and her heart melted.

"I'm sorry." she whispered.

Castle smiled, surprised by the fact that she had cracked first and not him. Another five minutes and he was about to.

"For what?" he said, playing around with her.

"You know what!" she said, louder.

"Do I? Refresh my memory." He smirked.

She hated this man. He irritated her to no end. But, she admitted to herself, she could never hate Richard Castle. So she humored him.

"I'm sorry for hitting you, and I'm sorry for blowing up on you. I'm sorry for saying I didn't know why I keep you around. I was pissed off and I didn't mean any of it. So…I'm sorry."

He didn't say anything right away. He took a few moments to take the depth and sincereness of her apology in. God he loved this woman.

"Why do you keep me around? I mean, if I irritate you so much, then why did you let me come back?"

"Well why do you want to come back?" she retorted, avoiding his question. "Why do you insist on risking your life day after day? I would've thought after you almost being shot a couple weeks ago in the diner, you would've quit. So my question for you, Castle, is why do you stay?"

Just as Castle was about to answer, to pour his heart and soul to the woman he loved, he saw their suspect leaving his apartment.

"Gallagher!" he told her enthustastically.

_"Damn. He would pick now to leave his apartment."_ Beckett thought, as she grabbed her gun from the back seat.

"Let's get him."

They exited the car, as Jonathan Gallagher was walking towards them.

"Mr. Gallagher, stop!" Beckett yelled, aiming the gun at him.

"Detective Beckett, it's nice to see you again. I've been expecting you guys to find me. Well…I can't say I didn't come prepared."

Jonathan slowly reached into his pocket.

"John, stop what you're doing and freeze."

"I'm afraid I can't do that."

He said as he pulled out a gun and aimed it at Beckett.

"Beckett." Castle whispered in fear.

"Shhh." she hushed him.

"John, put down the gun."

"Once again, I can't do that Detective. I'm sorry." he said, as he fired the gun.

The bullet made its way toward Beckett. It seemed to be in slow motion. Castle saw it coming. He pushed her to the ground as the bullet entered his chest. Seconds later, he also, was on the ground, blood pouring profusely from his chest.

Beckett saw the whole thing from the ground where she had been pushed to. She saw the bullet hit him, she saw the look and pain on his face, and she saw him on the ground, where a pool of blood was being made from his body.

"CASTLE!" she yelled, as she quickly crawled over to him. She took off her jacket and placed it on his chest to stop the bleeding.

"Castle, please. Please. Don't leave me Castle." she pleaded.

His eyes were twitching as blood started coming out of his mouth.

"Rick. Please! Stay with me!" she cried.

She felt water running down her face, and for a second, she thought it was raining. But then, she realized it was her tears. She was crying. The tears kept flowing and flowing while she did everything she could to stop the bleeding.

She held one hand on his chest as she pulled her out her walkie-talkie and radioed into Portable to Central.

The person on the other end answered.

"This is Detective Kate Beckett with the N.Y.P.D. I need an ambulance in the alley of 66th. I got a GSW to the chest...My partner…Richard Castle…he's been shot. Please hurry. He's losing a lot of blood."

Castle squeezed Becketts hand. "Rick! You son of a bitch! Don't die! Please don't die!"

"Kate..I..I.." she stuttered.

"What Rick? What!"

He kept repeating I over and over again, until his eyes began to close.

"Castle! No! Please God, no. Rick!" she screamed, leaning her head on his blood soaked chest.

She cried. She cursed the lord. How could this happen? They were working things out. He was going to tell her something. What was it?

Minutes later, the paramedics arrived as they put him on the gurney and into the back of the ambulance.

"I'm riding with him." Beckett told one of the paramedics.

She jumped into the back, where they were trying to restart his heart.

She watched him. She watched his face the entire time. He looked so helpless, so pale, so…dead.

But as the heart monitors rose, she caught her breath and a certain feeling entered her body….hope.

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**_Bet you didn't see that coming, did you? Okay maybe you did. But anyways, if you want to know what happens, leave a review! Thanks :)_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_I would like to thank everyone that reviewed, story alerted, etc. I was blown away. If only there were more reviews instead :( Oh well. Hope you enjoy this chapter._**

**_Oh and I completely forgot to put this in the first chapter, but I would like to thank DreaminDaze for all of her help with the story so far. Check out her stories, they're amazing(:_**

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Beckett sat in the waiting room, head buried in her tear wet hands. Her clothes were blood stained. She had to make the call to Martha and Alexis, and they were on their way to the hospital, as well as Ryan, Esposito, and Lanie.

The memory of what happened kept playing in her head over and over again. She still couldn't believe it had happened. One minute they were making up and then the next, her whole world had fallen apart. Why had he jumped in front of her? That was the thing she couldn't process. She should've gotten hit. She's the cop. She's supposed to do the protecting, but now...she was the loved one. The one who sat and waited to hear news about her friend. The one who felt guilt for being okay when her rescuer was not.

"Oh, dear!" she heard someone speak, taking her out of her thought, as she looked up to see Martha and Alexis walking towards her.

"Where's dad?" Alexis exclaimed.

"Aw sweetie." Beckett said unexpectedly, as she stood up and wrapped her arms around the heart broken girl.

"He's in surgery. The doctor will let us know when he's out." she reassured her.

"What happened?" Martha asked, as they all three took seats.

"Uh...Castle and I were on a stake out. When our suspect came out of his apartment we exited the car. The suspect had a gun, he aimed it at me and fired. Castle….Castle…." she couldn't finish.

She hated telling the story of how Castle saved her. She hated seeing it play out over and over again in her head. Him falling, him bleeding, him almost dying in her arms. It was like a horrendous nightmare that wouldn't end.

"He jumped in front of you, didn't he?" Martha finished as Beckett nodded.

"He pushed me to the ground. He, he saved my life. Our suspect got away though."

Martha knew her son was in love. Castle would do anything for the woman he loved. Including jumping in front of a bullet that was meant for her.

"He sustained a gun shot wound to the chest. I…I thought he was dead….his eyes closed, I…felt his heart stop. But…the paramedics restarted it."

"Good, good. How long will the surgery be?"

"About 4-5 hours they said, perhaps longer if any complications arise."

"He can't die." Alexis quietly spoke for the first time in minutes. "I barely see my mother, I can't lose my father. He's…he's the only thing, besides Gram, that I have left."

Just then, Kate remembered what Castle had told her before.

_"If anything happens to me, I want you to look after Alexis."_

And by God, if Castle didn't pull through, she was going to respect his wishes.

"You have me." Beckett spoke as Alexis's head shot up. "I know I'm not your dads wife, or girlfriend, or anything but…I will always be here for you."

Alexis reached up and hugged her.

"Thanks Detective Beckett."

"Call me Kate, please."

"Kate, my dad loves you. Even if you aren't together, and you're too afraid to admit it, he does. And I think you love him too."

Kate was taken aback. His own daughter could tell that, but she couldn't? She didn't know how to answer, and luckily Lanie, Esposito, and Ryan walked into the waiting room to save her from having to respond to a statement she had always been too afraid to say out loud.

"How is he?" Esposito asked.

"He's in surgery. It's going to be a while."

"What the hell happened Beckett?" Ryan asked.

As everyone sat down, Beckett once again told the story of how Castle saved her life. And once again, she was crying at the end.

"Aw hun." Lanie said, putting her hand on her lap.

"Why did he do it?" Beckett asked.

"He loves you." Esposito blurted out.

Beckett was once again breath taken. How come everyone seemed to know what she didn't? Beckett shook her head in disbelief.

"Come on Beckett, why else would he stick around so long? I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who's seen the way he looks at you, the way he follows you around, the way he cares about you."

"No, Castle doesn't love me." she stated, shaking her head.

"It's true dear." Martha spoke. "He has written 22 novels before you, and he didn't need to follow someone around for 2 years to finish them. He has enough information to write 50 books, but yet he stays. And you want to know what he told me?"

Everyone stared at her, urging her to continue.

"He told me that it's not about the books anymore."

Beckett still didn't believe it. Castle couldn't love her. There was no way.

"If he did love me, then why did he go to the Hamptons with Gina last summer when I was ready to tell him how I felt?"

"You were with Demming when he asked her. How was he supposed to know that you broke up with him?" Lanie asked.

Beckett put her head down. She thought about everything that everyone had told her. She thought about that kiss during her mothers case. He didn't have to kiss her, but he did. She thought about when they were reading a letter during a case and it had said "You'll never get rid of me…I love you." She saw how sincere his facial expressions had been, like he wasn't talking about the letter, he was talking to her. She thought about the many moments after that, and came to the same conclusion, Castle was in love her.

And...she admitted to herself, that she was in love with him as well. But, what about Josh? They were still together, they didn't officially break up. She knew what she had to do.

She stood up as everyone looked at her. "I uh…I have something to take care of."

She started walking away when Lanie caught up with her.

"Kate, don't run away from this. He needs you."

"I know, that's why I'm leaving. I promise, I'll be back. Call me if you get any news, okay?"

Lanie nodded and gave her friend a hug.

"He'll be fine." she whispered.

Beckett backed out of the hug and slightly smiled, as she turned around and left.

ooo

She knocked on Josh's door, butterflies in her stomach. She couldn't believe what she was about to do, but she knew it needed to be done. What seemed like hours later, Josh finally opened the door.

"Kate." he said excitedly, as he pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. "I'm so glad to see you."

"Josh…." she tried to begin, but he interrupted.

"I'm so sorry about everything that happened. It was stupid. I just want to put it behind us because….Kate Beckett, I'm in love with you, and I don't want to lose you. Now or ever."

Beckett gulped as her eyes filled with tears. This was not working out how she intended. She backed out of his grasp, as he saw the tears in her eyes.

"Katie, what's wrong?"

"Castles been shot. He's in surgery. He…he could die, Josh."

"Aw babe, I'm so sorry." he said as he pulled her into a hug once again.

This time, she literally pushed him away.

"I need you to stop being sorry for me. I need you to stop looking at me like a scared puppy. It's making what I have to do very difficult."

"What do you have to do?" he asked nervously.

"Josh, sit down please."

"Well this can't be good." he said as they walked over to his couch.

"Josh, I like you, I really do. But, this just isn't working for me. I mean, we hardly see each other and we both have difficult jobs and I'm too dedicated to my job to actually give myself to you….."

"I'll cut my hours. I promise, I will be at home more than the hospital."

"No, I don't want you giving up your life, for me. I…I'm going to be completely honest. And I hope you don't hate me for it."

"You can tell me anything Kate."

"I'm in love with Richard Castle. I know I shouldn't be telling this to my boyfriend, but…you deserve the truth. I never meant to hurt you, or lead you on thinking there was the possiblility of something deeper between us. But when I tried to tell him I wanted to give us a chance last summer, he showed up arm in arm with his ex wife and told me he was spending the summer in the Hamptons with her. I pushed my feelings aside, and then I met you. You're great Josh, you're amazing, but…there's just something about Castle that…I can't explain. He's annoying, and arrogant, and immature, but…I love him. And I hope you care enough about me to respect my feelings, and not get angry. I mean, I totally understand if you are, but…just don't hate me."

"I don't hate you, Kate. I could never hate you. I guess I knew all along. I saw the way you looked at him and how he looked at you, the way you spoke so sincerely about him, and how your face lit up when you did so. I knew there was something deeper between you guys then just friendship, but I held on to the possibility that there wasn't. I love you Kate. I do. but…I'm not going to stay with someone that doesn't love me."

"I'm so sorry Josh. You are an extraordinary guy and any woman would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend. Because for the past 5 months, I have been."

"Thanks Kate. Now, I don't want to sound like a jerk, but I would really like to be alone."

"I understand. Can we still keep in touch?"

"Of course."

She nodded appreciatevly.

"Let me know how he is, okay?"

"Will do." they hugged as he kissed her one last time. "See you around Katie."

"See ya, Josh."

* * *

_**Okay, now I don't want to beg, but could you please leave a review? Even if it's one word? Thanks :)**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_Wow! I was absolutely floored by the amount of reviews I got it! That's what I'm talking about! Keep up the good work! Now, in return, here's chapter 3. Hope you enjoy! :D_**

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Beckett went back to the hospital, where everyone was still sitting in the waiting room. She noticed that Martha and Alexis were crying, as Lanie, Esposito, and Ryan had their heads down.

"What's happened?" Beckett asked nervously as everyone looked up at her.

Martha stood up and walked over to her.

"There was a complication." Martha said, and that's all it took for Beckett's eyes to fill up with tears. "His lung collapsed and there was a tear in his heart. They're trying to repair it, but….it's not looking good dear."

Beckett slowly walked over to a chair and sat down. Lanie walked over to sit beside her, sitting down and wrapping her arms around her.

"He can't die, Lanie." she whispered, as Lanie gave her shoulders a tight squeeze.

"I know sweetie. I promise, he's going to be fine."

"You don't know that! We…we got in a fight."

"I know."

"We…we were making up in the car. He was going to tell me something. But, Gallagher came out before he got the chance. Everything was working out."

"I know."

That was all Lanie could manage to say. She had become really attached to Castle. She could tell how much they cared about each other. They were like two teenagers avoiding each other. She was happy that Beckett was finally realizing her feelings for him, as well as Castles.

But, what if it all came too late?

ooo

3 hours later

"Family and friends of Richard Castle?" A doctor asked as he walked into the waiting room.

Everyone looked up at him with pleading eyes, wanting, needing to hear that he was okay.

"Mr. Castle sustained a collapsed lung, 2 broken ribs, and a tear in his heart. We tried everything we could….."

That was never good. Whenever a doctor says that, it usually ends with "but it wasn't enough", or "but the damage was too severe."

Beckett held her breath.

"And luckily, we repaired his lung and fixed the tear in his heart. He is in recovery right now, but the next 48 hours are crucial. They're prepping his room, so you may be able to see him in about an hour."

"Thank you doctor. Thank you so much." Martha said excitedly.

"You hear that Kate? He's going to be okay." Lanie comforted her.

"Yeah but…he's not out of the woods yet."

"Girl, don't be so negative."

"Did you not hear what he said? The next 48 hours are going to be crucial. He…he could die at any moment."

"You can't say things like that dear." Martha spoke, as Beckett turned to look at her.

"I'm sorry Martha. I know that's not what you or Alexis need to hear but…I can't help but feeling that everythings going to go wrong. I've lost a lot of people in my life. I guess I just…expect these things to happen."

"I understand completely dear. You're worried. You're scared. You don't want to lose him. That's how all of us feel right now. But we can't give up hope. We can't say negative things. We must have faith in the lord and faith in Rick."

"You're right. I'm sorry." Kate apologized as Martha wrapped her in a hug.

"You love him dear. I wouldn't expect any different response from you."

Beckett smiled and backed out of her grasp.

"Lanie, Esposito, Ryan, you guys don't have to stay here." Beckett spoke.

"We know, but….we want to." Esposito said.

"Yeah, it's Castle. He would do the same for us." Ryan added.

Beckett smiled. They had all became a family, thanks to Castle.

"Detective Beckett?" someone asked, as Captain Montgomery walked into the waiting room.

"Sir?" she asked.

"I know this is a bad time right now, but I need you to write the report on what happened tonight."

Beckett took a deep breath.

"Can you do it, Kate?"

"Yes sir."

"Good. I brought the papers with me so you wouldn't have to leave the hospital."

"Thank you Captain."

He handed her the papers as she sat down in a chair near a table and wrote down the event.

"How is he?" Montgomery asked no one in particular.

"He's in recovery. We have to wait about an hour to see him. The next 48 hours are crucial, but we're keeping hope." Martha spoke.

"Good. That's…really good. Castles strong, stubborn, and a fighter. I'm sure he can pull through this." he said, walking over to Martha.

"Thank you sir." she said, gripping his hand with hers.

Minutes later, Beckett walked over to the group, handing Montgomery the papers.

"Here you go sir."

"Thanks Kate. I know that wasn't easy."

"Gallagher got away. He's probably fleeing the country right now."

Montgomery sighed. "As bad as this is to say, we win some and we lose some. I hope that son of a bitch gets whats coming to him."

Everyone grew silent. Beckett looked over at Alexis, who was sitting in a chair in the corner, legs tucked under her body, sobbing. She stood up and walked over to her, sitting down next to her.

"You okay Alexis? You haven't said anything for a while."

"I'm scared." she whispered.

"We all are."

"I'm too young to lose my father. I can't…I can't do it. He's always been there for me. He knows almost all the answers to my questions. He gives the best advice, he's…the worlds best dad."

"I know that sweetie. You want to know what else he is? The worlds best friend, the worlds best partner, son, writer, and most importantly to me, hero. I lost my mother when I was young. Not as young as you are now, but I was still young. Most sons or daughters expect to lose their parents when they're in their 50s. You never anticipate losing them when your younger than 30. I surely didn't. That's what makes it hard. They'll never be there to see you get married, have kids, have a life of your own. They'll never know how much you loved them, and to thank them for the life they have given you. But in all essence, they know and they see everything. I believe…I like to believe that my mother is watching me right now. She watches me arrest every single murderer. She watches me do every thing I do. And that…that's what makes it easier. They're still there, even though they're not. So, I know this wasn't the most hopeful and uplifting speech. I don't want you think that he's going to die. Just…have faith. Believe in your father. And if fate is not on our sides, then we will cope and we will all be here for each other. We'll be… a family."

Alexis was crying harder now, as she wrapped her arms around Beckett for the 3rd time that day.

"Thank you so much Kate. I'm sorry about your mom. It must've been really hard."

"It was. It never ceases. But, you can't dwell on the past, you just got to open yourself to the future."

Alexis smiled.

"Mr. Castles family?" everyone looked up at the doctor once again. "You may see him now. He has not awaken yet. And I would appreciate 2 or 3 at a time."

Everyone looked at Martha and Alexis who, for the obvious reasons, should go first. Martha walked over to Beckett.

"You go, dear."

"Martha, I couldn't. He's your family. He's your son. You have the right to go in first. I can wait."

"Trust me, if you're not the first person he sees when he wakes up, he'll have all of our heads. Go. I'll see him later."

"I'm going to." Alexis said.

Beckett intertwined her fingers with Alexis's, as they walked back to Castle's room….together.

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**_So? Ready to see Castle? Leave a review! Let's try to get twice as many as last time, which by my count, was 18 :)_**


	4. Chapter 4

**_Sorry I haven't updated in a couple days. I've been extremely busy in school. I was also upset that instead of twice as many reviews on the last chapter, I only got half. What happened? Was it too boring? Too out of character? I would like to know. _**

**_Now this is the chapter you've all been waiting for! Enjoy!_**

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Kate and Alexis slowly walked into Castle's room, scared to what they might find. He was connected to all kinds of machines. His heart monitor was beeping, indicating that he was still alive, which was a relief for Beckett. She hated seeing him like that. So weak, so…broken.

Alexis released Kate's hand and slowly walked over to him. She grabbed his hand and started to cry.

"Dad?" she asked, knowing she wouldn't get answer, but still hoped.

Kate just watched the interaction between them. Alexis was so hurt. She needed her father.

Alexis looked back at Beckett and said "I keep thinking he's just going to sit up and say 'gotcha.'"

"Me too Alexis, me too." she said as she walked over to the other side of his bed.

His face was pale, but yet, he looked so peaceful.

"You can hold his hand." Alexis told her.

"I…I'm just afraid that if I touch him…I'll hurt him."

"You can't hurt him any worse then he's already been hurt."

Kate nodded in agreement, as she slowly reached for his hand and intertwined her fingers with his.

"I'm so sorry Rick." she whispered, as tears streamed down her face.

Then a cell phone rang. It was Alexis's.

"Hello….hi Ashley…you're here? Okay, I'll be out. Bye."

Beckett looked at Alexis. "Ashley's out in the waiting room. He thought he could come and cheer me up."

"Go ahead. I'll let you know if anything changes."

"Thanks Kate."

After Alexis was gone, Beckett pulled up a chair and sat down, still holding onto Castles hand.

"Castle…Rick, please wake up. there are so many things that we need to talk about. So many things that I have to tell you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for flipping out on you and causing our fight, I'm sorry for getting you shot. It…it was all my fault. But I…I can't lose you Castle. 3 years ago, I would've never thought that I would depend on someone like this. I never thought that I would…love, someone like this. But you made me. You opened my eyes. You tore my walls down, a little at a time. I…your family needs you. We all do. Alexis needs her father. I don't want her to know the feeling of losing a parent at a young age. I told her what you asked me before. I told her that I would take care of her if anything ever happened to you. But, God Castle, don't make me keep that promise. Wake up, get better, be there for your daughter….for me."

She was crying. She buried her head in his chest, still holding his hand. After a few minutes or sobbing, she felt a squeeze on her hand.

"Castle?" she asked, looking up and seeing his eyes slowly opening.

"Rick? Rick wake up." she said, standing up and getting in his face.

He opened his eyes. Where was he? He looked around. He saw the monitors, the windows, the TV, the bed. He was in a hospital. He tried to register what had happened. Then he looked to his right, and saw a beautiful, tear filled eyed woman standing next to him, worried as ever.

"Rick?" she asked.

"Who…who are you?" he asked, as the breath was taken away from her.

She started crying even harder. "It's me…Beckett."

"Beckett? I don't recall that name."

"Kate! Your partner! Your friend! The inspiration to your novels! It's me!" she screamed, wanting, needing him to remember her.

Castle wanted to continue the little charade, but seeing the hurt and panic in her eyes, he couldn't.

"Beckett, I know who you are. I was just joking."

Beckett instantly felt anger. He made her believe that he didn't remember her! Who would do that as a joke? But looking at his eyes, she couldn't be mad. She was just happy he was alive. And once the anger went away, tears filled in her eyes and she started crying rapidly.

"Kate?" Castle asked, never seeing her like that. "Kate, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm alive. I'm fine."

She slowly sat back down. "You can't do that." she whispered.

"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't realize how upset you were." he said as he brushed a piece of her hair behind her ear.

When he went to pull his hand away, she grabbed it. Holding it. Then, she kissed it, rubbing it against her face.

Castle was confused. What the hell had gotten into her? Beckett would never do that. But then, he realized that he wasn't looking and talking to Detective Beckett, it was Kate. The non cop. The human being. The woman whose friend just got shot.

"Kate I…."

"Ssh. Castle just let me…give me a minute." she said as she continued to hold his hand.

Castle nodded in agreement, watching the amazing woman beside him. He could tell that she had just been through 24 hours of hell. Her eyes were red and puffy like she had been crying, her hair was a mess, like she had been running her hands through her hair all day and her clothes…were blood stained. Why hadn't she changed them?

"Kate." he whispered as she released his hand and looked at him. "Why haven't you changed your clothes?"

She suddenly looked down at her body. "I guess I didn't want to. I didn't want to lose the last piece of you I had left."

"Kate, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for anything of this to happen."

"It's not your fault you got shot Rick, it's mine. I…I should've prepared for it. I shouldn't have let you push me away. I should've took that bullet."

"No. You will never take a bullet as long as I'm around. I will jump in front of a thousand bullets if it saves you."

"How can you say that? How can you do that to me? Do you know what will happen to me...Alexis, if you die the next time a bullet is meant for me? I…She won't be able to live."

Castle got the feeling that she wasn't just talking about Alexis, she was also talking about herself.

The room filled with silence, when moments later, Kate spoke up.

"You were going to say something, before you…died. What was it?"

Rick took a deep breath and began. "I..I just wanted you to know that, I…."

"Ricky!" Martha exclaimed, running over to her son. "You're awake!"

Kate put her head down, sad that their moment was interrupted yet again.

"Yes mother, I'm fine."

"Don't you ever do that to us again, you hear me? Ah! I have to go get Alexis, she's in the cafeteria with Ashley."

"Take your time." he told her as she ran out of the room.

Beckett lifted her head back up. "You were saying?" she asked.

"What I wanted to tell you was…I'm sorry for pressuring you about what ever happened with Josh. I know it was none of my business. I should've let it alone."

Beckett couldn't help but feel disappointed. That was what he wanted to tell her? That was the last thing he wanted to say to her before he died?

"It's fine Castle. Don't worry about it. It's done and over with."

"Good. Well I hope everything works out with you and Josh."

"Right. Yeah. Thanks."

She was too upset and disappointed to tell him the truth of what happened. Maybe right now wasn't the right time for him to hear it.

"I'm glad you're okay Rick." she said after a couple minutes of silence.

"I'm glad I am too, Kate."

"Dad!" Alexis exclaimed as she ran into her fathers room, hugging him as easy as she could.

"Hi pumpkin." he said, burying his head into her shoulder.

When he looked up, he saw a group of people standing outside his room. A group of his friends, and family. He waved his hand inward, motioning for them all to come in.

Beckett stood up. "I'm going to go to the cafeteria."

Castle nodded and smiled, as his bed was now surrounded by Esposito, Lanie, Ryan, Montgomery, Martha, Alexis, and Ashley.

Kate stood outside his room and smiled. They were shaking his hand and giving him hugs, laughing. She wondered why she didn't want to be in there. Why she felt heartbroken, even though he was alive.

She decided that she needed someone to talk to. Someone that she didn't see on a daily basis. Someone that didn't know what had happened.

As she walked into the waiting room, she pulled out her phone and looked through her contacts, finding the one she was looking for. She pressed "SEND" as the phone rang.

"Katie! How are you sweetie?"

"Hey dad. I need to talk. Meet me at Royals?"

* * *

**_So are we upset that he didn't tell her what he really wanted to tell her? Do you think she should've told him the truth. What should she tell her dad? Sound off by leaving a review, if you would be so kind :)_**


	5. Chapter 5

**_So once again, I didn't get as many reviews as I had hoped for, but to those of you who did, THANK YOU! :) Tonight's an all new episode, and I can't wait. Valentines Day! Should be pretty interesting. _**

**_Enough rambling for now, enjoy this chapter! :)_**

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Jim Beckett walked into Royal's Diner to find his daughter already there, sitting at a booth by herself, looking distraught as ever. He could tell by the sound of her voice when she called him that something was wrong, and now it was time to find out.

"Katie?" he asked as he quickly walked over to her.

She saw him and stood up.

"Dad." she sighed.

It was nice to see someone new. She gave him a hug as he gave her a tight squeeze.

"What's wrong sweet heart?" he asked urgently.

"Sit down." she told him, as he took the seat across from her.

Neither said anything immediately, but Jim broke the silence.

"Katie, what happened?"

She took a deep breath and began. "You uh…you know that writer that I work with?"

"Richard Castle? Yeah. You told me about him before."

"Well uh, he was..shot."

Jim covered his mouth. "I'm so sorry dear, is he okay?"

She nodded. "He broke a few ribs, had a collapsed lung and tore his heart, but…he woke up earlier and he's fine."

"Good. That's good. Why aren't you at the hospital?"

"I felt…guilty. I couldn't look at him and not blame myself."

"How is him getting shot your fault?" he asked, not understanding.

"The bullet was meant for me." she said. "He saved me." she then whispered.

"He...jumped in front of that bullet, for you?" he asked in astonishment as she nodded. "Well it sounds like he isn't as selfish and arrogant as you once told me he was."

She didn't say anything as he continued. "If I remember correctly, you also told me that he was funny, intriguing, a good father, loyal, and…I'm pretty sure I heard you mumble handsome."

She laughed as she put head down.

"You talk about him a lot, you know?"

"I do not!" she interjected.

"Yes, sweetie, you do. Every time I call you and ask you how a case is going, its always 'Castle and I did this' or 'Castle and I did that.' You may not have noticed, but I sure do. A father always does."

She shyly smiled as tears filled her eyes.

"You love him, don't you Katie?"

She started crying harder and nodded, then looked up.

"I don't know why dad. He's arrogant, annoying, immature, pushy, self minded…but on the flip side he's caring, loyal, funny, helpful. He always has my back. Even if we fight sometimes, he still, jumps in front of a bullet to save me."

"Sounds like you do know why. Does he feel the same for you?"

"Everyone tells me he does, Esposito, Lanie, his mom, his daughter. But I can't help feeling that he's going to hurt me. He flirts with anything with boobs and he's been divorced twice and then when I try to actually tell him how I feel he shows up with his ex-wife and…breaks my heart."

Jim put his hand on top of hers. "For what it's worth, I have never seen your face light up so much, just by talking about a man. I have never heard you talk so much about a person that's not even your boyfriend. Katie, I can tell this one's different. Why can't you?"

"I'm scared dad. I...I've never felt this way about someone before. I've never kissed someone where my body had such a reaction to it."

"Wait, you kissed?" Jim asked, surprised.

"It was a diversion. But…the more I think about it, it wasn't. We didn't have to kiss but he kissed me. Then, I kissed back. And I felt so much in such a short kiss. It was like my whole body was on fire."

"Okay, as old and independent as you are, I am still a father and don't need to hear these details about my little girl."

Kate laughed. "What should I do dad?"

"Do you really need me? I think you already know what to do and your mother would say the same. Follow your heart. Life is too short to sit around thinking 'What if?' You have to grab life by the balls and do what makes you happy."

"Original dad, very original." she said, laughing.

He laughed as well. "Well, I couldn't think of anything."

He squeezed her hand and kissed it.

"You know what you want Katie, you know how you feel. Now go do something about it."

She smiled and stood up. "Thanks Dad."

He stood up as well, wrapping his arms tightly around her and kissing her forehead.

"I love you Kate. I believe in you."

"I love you too Dad." she whispered. "I better get back to the hospital. Thanks for the talk. It was nice."

"It most definitely was dear. We need to do this more often. And maybe next time, you can introduce me to Mr. Castle?"

She laughed. "That is a definite possibility. Bye Dad."

"Good bye, Katie."

oooo

Beckett walked into the hospital, getting on the elevator and pressing 6. As the elevator went up, she could feel her stomach turning. Was she really about to lay her heart on the line? Was she really going to trust Richard Castle, known heart breaker and two time divorcer with her love, her life, her heart? She took a deep breath as the elevator doors opened and there stood Lanie.

"Girl, where the hell have you been? Castle said you went down to the cafeteria but that was 2 hours ago, so I decided to go and check on you."

"I went to see my father." she confessed as she stepped out of the elevator and walked with Lanie down the hall.

"About?"

"I talked to him about Castle."

"Ohhhh. And what did Mr. B have to say?"

"He told me to go for it. He's never seen me so happy and talk about someone like I do with him."

"I think I like your father ten times more then I already did."

Kate laughed.

"So you're going to do it?"

"Yeah, I think so. I think it's time. It's starting to feel like Booth and Brennan from Bones, and I don't want to wait 7 years and go through everything that they did and still not be together."

"Well one, that's a show, not real life. And two, somethings wrong with that girl, I mean, who wouldn't jump Booth if they had the chance?"

Kate laughed. "The same person who wouldn't jump Castle if they had the chance?"

"True. Well, I'm happy for you girl. Go get your man."

Beckett gave Lanie a quick hug, took a deep breath and walked down the hall to his room

ooooo

Kate walked to his room, where everyone was still in there, talking and laughing. Rick looked up and saw her, and smiled. She smiled back, her heart skipping a beat.

_"Breathe Kate, breathe."_ she told herself.

Everyone turned around and looked at Beckett, smiling as well. Did she miss something?

"Guys, let's uh, let's leave them alone for a minute." Esposito spoke up, as everyone nodded and agreed and exited the room.

"What was that about?" she asked as she walked towards him.

"No clue."

She laughed and sat down beside him.

"Where have you been? I see you changed your clothes."

"Yeah, I went home and grabbed some new clothes and went to Royals with my dad."

"How is Mr. Beckett?"

"Good, he's…really good."

"May I ask what the occasion was?"

"Just…needed to talk to my father. That's all."

"Of course. I won't pry." he said, with that twinkle in his eye and the cheshire cat grin that was so...Castle.

The room was filled with silence, as Castle looked over and noticed Beckett looked anxious, worried, and tears were developing in her eyes.

"Kate, are you okay?" he asked, grabbing her hand.

She looked up and took a deep breath as she squeezed his hand.

"We need to talk."

* * *

**_Dun, Dun, Dun...will she do it? Will she finally tell Castle how she feels? Only you have the power to find out! You wanta know how? You guessed it...REVIEW! Please? :)_**

**_P.S. Happy Valentines Day! As much as I hate this holiday, I hope those of you who have somebody to love enjoy your day, and for those of you who don't, tune into Castle tonight, it should cheer you up! :)_**


	6. Chapter 6

**_You all still here? I hope so. I am soooo sorry it took me this long to update. But this was a big, important chapter and I wanted to make sure I got everyone in character, and I'm still not sure if they are or not, so please let me know. _**

**_Alright, now here's the moment you've all been waiting for. I better get some reviews for this, good or bad :)_**

* * *

"We need to talk." Kate told Rick, her heart pounding a million miles per hour.

"Sure. Whats up?" he asked non-chalantly.

"Okay, well…I…I…."

She couldn't say it. What was wrong with her? What was so hard about saying 'I'm in love with you?'

"I know what it is Beckett." he said, sadly and quietly.

"You, you do?" she asked gulping.

"Josh proposed, didn't he? You told him about how you almost died and he realized he could've lost you so he proposed."

"What? No, that's….that's not it at all."

"Really?" he asked, relieved.

"Yeah, in fact, Josh and I…broke up."

A smiled quickly developed on Castle's face, but then it was gone, not wanting her to be get mad at him for being happy.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Does it have anything to do with whatever you guys fought about the other day?"

This was it. This was her time. She took a deep breath and began.

"Not exactly."

Castle tilted his head, not understanding but still wanting to know.

"After you were…shot, and in surgery…I heard things from multiple people and….I went to see Josh."

"Heard what? From who?" he quickly asked.

"Just…shut up Castle. Okay? This is my chance to talk."

He nodded, pretending to zipper his mouth shut and throw away the key.

"Anyway, I went to see Josh and…I broke up with him. Not because of the fight we had, but because…you. I broke up with him because of…for, you." she said, letting out a long sigh.

Castle couldn't believe what he had just heard. She broke up with Josh for him? Why? She then stood up and began pacing around the room.

"I've…I've never done this before. So, excuse my nervous pacing. But uh…I guess you should know that…I love you. I'm in, love with you. I never thought it was possible for me to fall in love with someone, especially someone like you, but I did. You tore down my wall a little piece at a time. You're always there for me and even though we fight I still…care about you and I want to be with you all the time. And that kiss, that kiss was amazing. My whole body just erupted inside, like a volcano. I saw…fireworks. Oh God, listen to me, I just said I saw fireworks. I sound like one of those little giddy blonde bimbos who are hypnotized by love. It seems, unreal. I just..I can't…."

"Shut the hell up Kate." Castle said, stopping her from her rant.

"Excuse me?" she asked, surprised that that was what he said to her.

"Shut up, and come here."

She listened and walked over to his bed.

"Kate Beckett, you are extraordinary. You have just made me the happiest man in the world. I…I have loved you since the day I met you. You excite me, you bring out the best in me. Everything you do, amazes me. I could've stopped shadowing you 2 years ago, but here I am. It's not about the books anymore, it's because, I have fallen in love with my muse, my friend, my partner. I know there's still probably a lot of stuff we have to talk about once I get out of here and on my feet again, but Kate, I love you."

She smiled a 100 watt smile, as he smiled back, unsure what to do next.

"I think this is the part where you're supposed to kiss me." she whispered.

"Ahh, right. Well, I can't really sit up, so could you…"

Before he could finish his sentence, Kate stood up and slowly pressed her lips to his. This was truly the happiest Castle had ever been. The woman he loved loved him back, and she was kissing him with so much devotion, it drove him crazy. They stopped when they heard people clapping.

Kate turned around, seeing their group of friends standing at the door, huge smiles on their faces.

"Go head girl!" Lanie said, as Kate and Rick both laughed.

"Ahhh congratulations!" Martha said as she walked in and gave Kate a huge bear hug, and then give Rick a kiss on the cheek.

Everyone came in as well, as hugs and 'congratulations' were given.

"When you get of here bro, you, Beckett, Lanie, and me, double date." Esposito told Castle.

"What about me and Jenny?" Ryan asked.

"Some other time man, some other time."

"I think you owe me $100." Lanie told Ryan.

"What?"

"You said they would get together after June, I said before."

"You guy's bet on when we would get together?" Kate asked, appalled.

"The whole department was in on it. We knew it was inevitable. We just didn't know when."

"Well if I owe you a hundred, Esposito owes you a hundred too!" Ryan said in his defense.

"Don't worry bro, I'll pay her back." he said seductively, as everyone in the room laughed.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt the party, but Mr. Castle needs some tests done." A nurse said as she entered the room.

"Aww, just a couple more minutes?" Castle pleaded.

"Rick, you need these tests. I don't want anything to happen to you." Kate told him.

"Rick huh? I could get used to that."

Kate gave him a death stare, as he gave in.

"Fine, take me for the tests. Don't want my…girlfriend worrying."

"Girlfriend? Who said I was your girlfriend?" she asked, smiling.

"I just…I thought after…."

She shut him up with a kiss, as everyone in the room just stared and smiled.

"Just kidding Castle. See you in a little bit."

Everyone bid their goodbyes as the nurse wheeled him out of his room.

"Girl, once the sex happens, I want major details." Lanie whispered to Kate as she laughed.

"I think that's my business and my business only."

"Oh come on, you have to fill me on the sex expertises of Richard Castle. After what everyone says, I want to know if he's the real deal."

"We'll see. Right now, all I'm worried about is that everything's okay."

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**_Well? In character? Too much to fast? Or too little not fast enough? Please let me know! :)_**

**_"Move that ass, move that ass, get on the floor, get on the floor!" Hahaha, that's still stuck in my head. Gotta love Castle :)_**

**_REVIEW!_**


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